Being an underdog is "flusterating" . . .

Man, school has really taken a toll on me. sometimes I just start to get stressed out over nothing at all. Just sitting in my room stressed out about nothing at all, my body be tingling with anxiety. I'm such an anxious person and my mind is just going all over the place. I don't know what going on. . . Nevermind I lied. I have set some many high standards for myself, that seem impossible, and I just get a little flustered trying to be perfect. I guess, but not perfect in a perfect sense. Perfect by my own standards. I wanna be the best, I see myself as the best. That's another problem right there, I see myself differently than everyone else. I try to make myself look like something I'm not. I am really just ranting. You know I try my hardest not to be annoying Maurice, the one that ignores everyone, but it's hard not being annoying. Ummm. I just want to be perfect. All this sounds crazy right, but I'm not crazy, just stressing out over nothing. I just gotta keep trying harder and harder everyday, if I wanna reach my goals. I wanna have a 4.0 all the way through college, be SGA President, be a great Lagrange Society Member, make my family and community proud. Be in every honor society, be a member of an unnamed fraternity, be a great christian example to everyone I meet, I wanna be come that person that everyone loves to be around, I wanna learn how to relax. I wanna become a promising alumni, I wanna have a quadruple major in Non-profit business mangagement, Human Resources, Music Management, and Political Science. Umm . . . But the biggest shock to me coming to college is not being on the top, not being the best in everything, and that maybe the main reason I'm ranting right now, all through High school I was the person incharge of almost everything, I was apart of everything, I had special privilleges. I hate growing up, there will always be somebody better than me. Umm. . .

This blog has really helped me out, I should've got a journal a long time ago, or something lol. Again I am not crazy. Laugh Out Loud.